Rose Colored Glasses

The internet is a strange thing these days.

With the help of dozens of social-networking websites, we can now broadcast ourselves and our personal lives all around the world. This can be a good thing, at times. Now our friends and relatives can see the recent family photos, hear the latest news, and visit with the new grand-baby via video chat.

Then, of course, there are downsides. Sometimes we share things from our personal lives that we shouldn't. We know, but don't realize how many people will see what we have said. We create embarrassing situations for ourselves. Sometimes we wish that we could take those words back.

If only we stopped to think before we officially "published" some things on the internet.

Over the past ten years, while I've been working on various publications, blogs, and social-networking sites, my mother has warned me again and again to be wary of posting negative things on the internet. We both have read one too many "rants," and, when people are always talking about how depressing their lives are, it gets old pretty fast. Really, we'd rather hear about your personal troubles over coffee than through the cold, insensitive internet.

So I've been careful. I try to think twice before I post (and check for typos!). And yes, there have been some things I've written online that I regret. There have been times when I've been too emotional, and said too much. But I've tried to keep things positive, so people don't have to roll their eyes at me every other status update. And I think my mother is fairly satisfied. ;)

But recently, I've noticed a trend that has struck me as equally disturbing as the "bare your soul and tell everyone what a mess your life is" statuses I've seen for years. This new trend is not an obvious problem. It seems nice, squeaky clean, and like something every good girl should emulate.

But here's the danger. People's lives are starting to sound perfect.

For example: (These are not real statuses, for the record!)

• "Curled up by the fire with a pumpkin spice latte and a brand new book!"
• "Making chocolate creme pie in the kitchen while my adorable and so well behaved children sing along to Josh Groban in perfect Italian."
• "Just spent three hours shopping! Now I've got five new pairs of shoes." 
• "Tanning on the beach with all of my best friends from college and look how gorgeous we are in this Instagram photo!" 

You've probably seen something along those lines. You know what I mean. ;)

While there is nothing "wrong" with any of these statuses, when these become the only thing that a particular person ever posts, their life starts to sound like one super fun, incredibly amazing, free-of-all-care carousel ride. It starts to sound perfect.

And, by comparison, our "real" lives, which include the nitty gritty as well as the pretty, start to feel so very imperfect.

Apparently, there is more than one study out there that shows that Facebook can cause depression in teens (or anyone, really). This is because we watch the lives of our friends and relatives through a filter, seeing only what they choose to share with us. And when we're reading dozens of awesome status updates, and seeing all the beautiful photos from vacation, our lives can seem dull by comparison. We feel like we don't measure up, that our lives are boring or depressing, and maybe we wish that we were someone else.

Don't get me wrong. There is nothing bad about a cheerful status update. And I still believe there is lots of wisdom in my mother's reminders not to post my tumultuous emotions all over the internet. (As she truly states, it's not everyone's business to know each little thing going on in our lives. ;)

But I want to see some reality. I want to hear some honesty. I want people to know that my life is not perfect, that there are days when the sun seems to have disappeared, and that I have had a rough week (or month, or year).

I do love to hear about the happy things going on in other people's lives. I am also encouraged when I hear about their struggles, life's challenges, and how God is still good, no matter what. There obviously there has to be some balance, so that our Twitter statuses don't all dip to one extreme or another.

I don't know how well I've done in keeping the balance. I know that I would love to be a positive person, who is cheerful and encouraging. I also know that I am incredibly weak, quick to complain, and often drag others down along with me. But I want to be honest about how much I need a Saviour. I want to walk in the light, instead of trying to hide my imperfections. I want to be real.

I don't want you to look at me through rose colored glasses.

-Amanda

Image: Tree Among Mist Print